I am basically almost constantly caught between a Heidegger-type, death-drive-induced anxiety to live life to its fullest, and full on nietzschean nihilism. Relieved now and again by belief in God which provides some waves of meaning which do not rely on human logic but on this thing called faith. Faith for me isn’t about religion it is about naming the bridges that take a person across into more solid belief systems which keep them secure. Believing anything at all is a leap of faith in this existence of ours, including faith in the physical world, including the belief, however fleeting, that your life is worth getting out of bed for.

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